People who have family members down with COVID are increasingly reporting feeling as if they have lost control over their lives and well being. 

Kartiki, whose brother had been infected with the virus, was asked to quarantine herself at home for 14 days. She shared with us, “Dheeraj, my brother is in the hospital for COVID. As soon as he was reported COVID positive, I and my parents were tested too. Though we didn’t show the symptoms of COVID and the reports came in as negative, we were asked to not be allowed step out of the house for 14 days. 

It is scary, not to know how and what might happen with you in this pandemic. Like in the morning we all had breakfast together and Dheeraj went out for a meeting with a builder. In the next six hours when he was back home, he was feeling feverish and said it was better if he’d go to the hospital. And then all the drama unfolded. From a happy, normal family, we were the talk of the society with all our information being shared on the whatsapp group and people asking us various who, why, how and what kind of stories.  

Life is so unpredictable right now and I feel like I have no control over what might happen in my life or in my surroundings next. I feel so lonely at home. 14 days is a really long time if we have to live this way. The stress, fear, anxiety, uncertainty is all that’s strangling us right now. Even after 14 days, I doubt people are going to make us feel any better as they are always looking at us with doubt.

The worst part of this disease is not knowing how you got it, when you got it, from whom, and how and when you will recover. It is really like living on someone else’s whim and fancy and not your own life...as if you are not leading your life but someone else is choosing things for you.” 

The ambiguity of the disease, lack of proper validated information and anxiety are the major emotions that make people with a COVID patient in the family feel like they have no control over their life anymore. This might also give rise to natural reactions changing their emotions to feelings of sadness, anger, fear and  a lack of motivation to do much about the situation at hand. Some might also experience physical reactions like headaches, muscle pain, back pain, difficulty sleeping, lack of appetite during stressful periods. How can you help someone feel better in such situations?

1. Listen to what they have to say. Build good communication so they can open up about their concerns. Listening involves seriously thinking through their words and giving them sincere hope and advice. 

2. Try and stay with them on the call until they feel calmer. Let them know you are there for them and respect their worries. 

3.Try to comfort them and provide reliable information in simple language to assure them. Avoid sharing any gahrelu nuskahs or remedies you may have heard of--better is to offer reliable advice and if you are not equipped to do so, help them connect with a doctor for the same. 

4. Help them explore their own coping strategies. Give them a few examples of what helps you relax in similar situations for eg; focusing on the breathing, doing mandala drawings, journal writing. 

5. Refer the concerned person to a professional support like a doctor or a mental health professional who you think would best suit your friend/ distressed person.