“My husband was admitted to the hospital due to corona, and once we returned from the hospital and the quarantine period was over, my son and daughter-in-law wanted us to move to a separate accommodation given our susceptibility to the virus. They didn’t want to stay with us anymore.”

“Ever since the lockdown, we don’t have any domestic help and I am trying to pitch in with all the housework but it never ends. My daughter-in-law keeps pushing me to do more and more and more. I am exhausted and tired. But things take an ugly turn if I say no to any work—everyone stands up against me; sometimes I am working late in the night even when I should be resting.”

“Work pressure has increased for everyone during corona lockdown, and I can’t ask anyone even for the smallest of helps. I am chided for being dependant, do it on your own, lazy and so on. At 85, they don’t seem  to understand my physical limitations.”

 The ugly side of the families lie exposed during the pandemic.

Research says that more than 71 per cent of the elderly population is being humiliated by their family members, relatives and others unknowingly or even unintentionally during this crisis.

People might say that we do not  hit our parents or push them out, but abuse of seniors is defines much more. 

Abuse of older people is either an act of commission or of omission which is usually described as neglect and it may be either intentional or unintentional. Though many a time the abuse might be physical in nature it can also be psychological that involves emotional or verbal aggression, or it may even indicate financial or other material maltreatment. 

 Here are a few cases that we’ve come across during as well as before the pandemic; 

 - A 65-year-old uncle was feeling uneasy and asked his family to take him to the doctor. Due to the coronavirus scare, no one left the house and for 2 days no one paid attention to his rampant pleadings. It was later discovered that he had been struggling with anxiety and was having panic attacks due to the unfortunate happenings around. 

 - A 58-year-old woman was found unconscious in her bedroom. When taken to the hospital, the doctors said she had not eaten for 3 days and was dehydrated. When the doctors asked the son what and when was the last time, she had a meal, the family members were clueless. 

 Irrespective of the type of abuse the pandemic has led to 

1. Ignorance and frustrated outbursts on elderly people. These situations result in unnecessary suffering, injury or pain to the elderly people. It is therefore imperative for the family to control their tempers, irritations when around or with senior citizens. If you can’t say something pleasant, it is better to not say it at all and confront the parent when you are in a calmer mood. Also, share their responsibilities with  your spouse and children.
2. There are instances when they have denied even some essentials. Since they are dependent on their offspring for the smallest of things, a denial leads to the loss or violation of their human rights. Ask them to take time and prepare a list of what they want, any medicines they are running out  of every morning and then after two or three days you can buy their requirements. Stick a paper and pen in their room, kitchen where they can keep noting down things they will need in near future. 
3. Living with a decreased quality of life has become one of the highest concerns amongst the older person as lockdown has limited their escape zones like going for a walk, meeting their friends. Take time  out and go for a walk with them; play a movie for them; let them listen  to some music, teach them how to do  a video call with  their friends and relatives…anything that will life their mood.