Women say ‘yes’ to everyone and everything--a fussy child who doesn't want to eat his vegetables and wants something else to be cooked, a husband who wants to be served tea in bed, a mother-in-law who demands sparkling utensils--and as a result end up overloaded, overwhelmed, and feeling deeply under appreciated for all the extra miles they go for others. More than ever, they end up exhausted, irritable and lose not only passion but their spirits as well.
We’ve always been told that everything needs to be perfect and that adjustment is the way to live life. So in order to do so, we hold ourselves back from saying "no" to our parents, partners, in-laws, kids, bosses, friends and sometimes even strangers too. This compromise of the women becomes comfort for others and the day you stand up for yourself and say "no", you are tagged as ungrateful, forgetting your place, high headed, adamant, characterless, etc.
And to avoid this negativity, we find solace in saying ‘YES’ in spite of knowing very well that it will lead to people taking you for granted and manipulating you as per their needs. Just to keep you slogging for them, they will be kind to you but without true emotions of love or appreciation.
As per a study, women don’t compartmentalise their happiness and success as men do. For us happy marriage with satisfied kids, society approved appearance and then a successful career, together account for a successful life. Keeping this as the ultimate picture, we just become our own worst critic by setting high and often impervious standards.
Saying ‘NO’ when you feel it in your gut is the right thing to do because choosing your own battles is always better than killing yourself in someone else’s battle.
Why is it okay to say no to your husband, children, parents, parents-in-law, colleagues, friends?
1.Strengthens relations: When you say ‘no’, you will know the sincerity of the other person towards the relationship. If you are giving too much and if you saying ‘no’ disrupts the relationship, you know your efforts aren’t worth the pain your endure. It will help you in making meaningful relations and strengthen the bond as you can concentrate on the things that you ‘really want to do’ for them rather than things that ‘you have to do’ for them.
2. Empowers and boosts confidence levels: When you say no, you are setting your boundaries from being misled and manipulated by anyone into doing things that you rather wouldn’t. Everyone around you starts recognizing your authoritative power which will boost your confidence and empowers you to stay firm throughout.
3. Accounts to a balanced life: As we cannot compartmentalise our happiness and success when you say ‘no’ you are actually involving yourself in just the things that matter to you. This way you get the time to analyse your life and relations better, be it at work or personal. You aren’t obligated to things that cause burden and enjoy the essence of your life and family.
Saying ‘NO’ to superfluous commitments also provides you with greater clarity that allows you to explore what really matters and is important to you. When you say ‘no’ you are really saying ‘yes’ to better opportunities that are aligned with your goals and beliefs.
Saying 'no' is tough but is an important tool to help you put yourself on your priority list. It is an art that must be learnt.