We all have heard cases of doctors families being ostracized and stigmatized because they chose the job over the family. It is not an easy situation to be in—the doctor has to continuously fight his own self to stay put. And now imagine a woman—doctor, nurse, support staff, healthcare worker—who has chosen to work for COVID patients and is aware of the difficult times she may bring upon her family because of her choices!!! 

A woman healthcare worker not only has to fight her own demons, but also what the society saddles her with

What was the need for  her to take up this job; She should not have volunteered; What kind of a mother is she to leave her children for 12-14 days with her parents to go on a job? Why did she do it...they must be facing financial crisis!

The society and sometimes her own family will question each and everything about her decision.

If it is her, a woman, who is bringing this stigmatization on her family, her pressure points increase manifold. She has to ensure her family keeps safe, else given our patriarchal society, she will never be forgiven or forgotten  as the one who bought death and  misery on her family. She who is a saviour will become a victim of our society’s mindset against women.

 And this mental stress does not account for her own unfulfilled filial and maternal feelings. She who bought comfort to her home and children, labours under  the guilt that she is not there for them for long stretches. Women in healthcare are experiencing immense longing, loneliness, and a deep-seated sadness. Women doctors and nurses are working almost 12 to 16 hour shifts and have to sometimes stay back in the hospitals and not go home for days. Their duties can go on for 14 days at a stretch sometimes—a period enough long to seed in the feeling of guilt, of depriving her children her attention and care, and of putting her job before her family.

Working has never been easy for women. They face not only income disparity, but a few nurses have also reported patients misbehaving with them—something most men will not do with male doctors but feel entitled to do with women doctors since they perceive woman to be a lesser mortal. They will not stop short of abusing, hitting, or sexually assaulting a female nurse, attendant or a doctor to get themselves heard.

But that does not mean women healthcare workers should give up on themselves easily.

• They have to keep themselves mentally strong about the situation and not fall to petty gossips about them or their family.
• They need to set the record straight with any ill-behaved patient and if she feels threatened for her own safety, take the matter with the hospital administration or the police.
• She needs to believe in herself and her decision...and ignore what others think of her, expect she should or shouldn’t do.
• She should keep her husband (if cooperative) her parents, and her children close to her since they are her source of strength. She should share her day’s tales with them, share feelings, tell them she loves them and hear the same back from them.
• There is no reason for her to shoulder any guilt—she is doing what she thinks is best for herself and her family.