“It’s okay. Nothing will happen, they are in any case family members only, following all precautions. You are just overthinking this,” said my mother-in-law when I opposed the idea of her calling members of extended family at home for a puja. 

My name is Surbhi Srivastava, and my mother-in-law is actually quite obsessively religious. Every month she conducts at least one pooja for Shanti (peace) and prosperity of our house. Due to the COVID outbreak, she wasn’t able to conduct a pooja with the panditji, a reason for my furloughing at work - according to her. 

I respect amma, but sometimes her religiousness gets in the way of logical thinking and practicality. Like now, as the unlock phase has begun, she is under the impression that COVID has vanished. She thinks it exists outside our family and after this pooja, everyone from our family would be safe and sound forever. 

I told Kumar, my husband about amma’s plan for the pooja and he too was worried about the safety of everyone. It is difficult for him as well to tell amma to not do something when she actually believes in the goodwill of doing the pooja. But having 10-12 people at home, along with a panditji, that too in the time when the conditions outside are only becoming more dangerous is very scary. 

When we got to know of one of our uncles who’d got infected with the virus, amma reacted saying, “Pawan. He was such a good soul, how can this happen to him? I am sure when we do this pooja, he will also recover soon because we prayed for him”.

All my efforts to make her see the reality versus traditional outlook are in vain. As the day of the pooja approaches, and I see her making the calls to people, I start getting very frightened. My mind’s peace has been totally ruined. Day and night I am worried about how to either dissuade her from this plan or if she is adamant, how to implement social distancing and hygiene.

It is not fair I think, that staying in a joint family, amma should bully us all into it. I have told her that right now we can have the pooja just within ourselves, and postpone a longer one for later, but to no avail. 

I am tired and exhausted and irritated and worried--if I put my foot down, she will call me out for it and create a ruckus; and if I don’t, God only knows what eventualities we are exposing ourselves too.

I haven’t slept the past one week mulling continuously over this.

I wish that the family members that she is going to call, turn down her invitation and tell her that it is a very risky time to be calling people at home. 

I’ve tried telling amma directly as well as indirectly that it is important to maintain social distance right now, but still she thinks doing God’s work will save us. How do I make her understand that the threat is real??

IS IT FAIR THAT ONE PERSON’S RELIGIOUS BELIEFS SHOULD EXPOSE EVERYONE ELSE TO THE DISEASE. I THINK IT IS BULLYING ON MY MOTHER-IN-LAW’S PART.