“The pandemic has turned my well-settled life upside down and I want it all to just go away like a very bad dream. If this continues, I will go crazy--already I am so upset about it all. 

I stay in Delhi with my husband and family. Our society had started to get a lot of COVID cases and we had started to get worried about them. It was becoming a struggle to even get the basics and groceries without getting stressed about the infection. Since my husband was working from home and my son’s classes were also online, we thought that it would be a good idea if we all moved to my in-laws house in Yamunagar, a small town in Punjab, for a month or so. I was not happy with the decision since they never liked me and accepted me properly but in favour of my family’s well being we locked up the house and shifted there for a month.

But the stay here in Yamunagar seems to be never ending. 

My mother-in-law doesn’t like me, my working, or the way I live and run my family and house. She doesn’t miss a chance to show me down in front of my son. For instance, my son was colouring in his book and  made the face of a man brown to which my mother-in-law commented in a sarcastic manner that since “His mother is dark no wonder the child sees everyone as brown” commenting on my dark skin tone. And this is just one episode. She is after my life all the time--sometimes passing a comment on my clothes, my hair, my skin...everything. Coming from a senior lady, it makes me uncomfortable and judged.

I hate living here; each moment is a struggle. From cooking, cleaning to making my child study...everything is judged, commented upon and found faults with as if I am an incompetent mother.

I have made up my mind now to set things straight and live in the family marking my own space.

1. I will not tolerate snide remarks or judgements against me in front of my child. I have decided to tell this to my in-laws gently but firmly that they cannot say things about me to my child.
2. I will adjust with them as far as food is concerned since I understand that they are seniors and prefer their food their own way.
3. I will have to ask them to stop commenting on my appearance--clothes, hair, skin--since it makes me uncomfortable.
4. I will give them all the respect that is due to them but not snivel before them.
5. I will have to set boundaries for my time, space, and work and while I will attend to them, it does not mean, that I will ignore my professional commitments. They will need to accept this about me that my professional commitments are important.

I have decided not to wait another day and to address these issues as soon as possible since living under constant scrutiny, judgement is stressing me out and making me feel under confident and insecure.
I cannot let it happen to me.