“I got married in January 2019. My husband, Nitin, was posted in Patiala and I moved in with him. We were quite happy and enjoying ourselves. But when the COVID news started to spread, we decided to move back in with my in-laws who stay in Karnal. My husband said that he can manage his work from Karnal also. We otherwise are going on peacefully, except for some routine disturbances but nothing too big, till the lockdown happened. We decided to let go off our domestic helpers since my in-laws are aged and my mother-in-law has asthma.

All the work in the house was left to me, but I took it on sportingly since it is my family and the need of the hour. Since, morning I would be up cooking, cleaning, washing etc. But what I did not understand was why my husband never pitched in with work with me. When we were in Karnal, he used to help me--water the plants, put out clothes for drying, help clean up the kitchen etc. But here in Karnal, he always seemed busy either chatting with his dad, working, watching TV, or playing games on his phone. This irked me a lot--I could really do with some help, but I let it go.

But then one day, I slipped in the verandah while washing it and sprained my ankle. The sprain was severe enough--I had trouble walking, getting off the bed, standing too. I went to the emergency room in the hospital, where they bandaged it, and told me to rest my foot and if I must, to use a stick so as to not put weight on it.

But that was not to be. All my expectations and need for rest were shattered, when the next morning, Nitin, woke me up and told me that I was late for making tea. His words did break me up--why, for heaven’s sake, why could not he make tea one day? It is not like he did not know how to make tea. He used to make it for us in Patiala and also before marriage--he had told me so himself that he used to make tea in his home when his mom used to be unavailable.

What has changed now, I wondered, as I hobbled in the kitchen making tea. There was not much I could achieve that day in house chores since my foot was aching and the hobbling had slowed me down. Yet, I managed as much as I could. 

And still no one helped me one bit--not my in-laws, not Nitin. I didn’t mind my in-laws behaviour, but what hurt me was Nitin’s insensitivity. Could he not see I was in pain? Could he not wash the utensils for once? Could he not atleast fuss a bit around me? 

My mind rationalized that perhaps he has overlooked my pain and if I ask him, he will surely help. No harm done. But what I fool I was to think like that.

My in-laws are used to taking milk in bed at night time. I had prepared the milk and called out to Nitin to hand it to them since walking with two glasses would be tough for me. He came in the kitchen--from his expressions, I knew that I something was amiss. “What is wrong with you,” he hissed at me, in angry undertones. “Why can’t you take the glasses yourself. Take them one by one. If you have to make two rounds to the kitchen and the bedroom, will it kill you? If I take the milk what will mumma and papa think? That I am your servant. I will have no respect in their eyes.”

I could not believe my ears. What was he saying? Has he totally forgotten that my feet were hurting? Or was his false male ego larger than even my pain? And what will mumma and papa think if he is helping his wife that he is my servant? That is all? Does helping someone make you their servant? In that case, I must be the most glorified maid of the house since I have been helping everyone, unpaid, and non-demanding. My heart, trust, faith, love...everything broke that night when I realised how shallow Nitin’s ego was. He was concerned about his reputation and that too in front of his own family. I realised in that moment that for me to expect that Nitin would ever stand up for me, would be futile. And that I was on my own.

Given that episode, I have continued with my duties, albeit with a removed sense. I say no when something is not possible for me, and I only push myself to the extent that I can manage.

I have decided to watch out for myself, since no one else would,” tells Sonia Goyal, 26, Karnal.