“2020 for me was going to be a whole new life in a whole new world, but, thanks to this cursed pandemic, today there is nothing but a small space in a rented room with a single bed to sleep on. How this pandemic has ruined my and my family’s life I can’t even begin to tell,” said Shreeya Raj from NOIDA. 

The lockdown and sealed countries borders have not just kept people away from their families but for a certain section left them stranded in their own country as outsiders. 

Shreeya said, “My husband got a promotion in December and was offered to work at the company’s New Zealand’s head office. We were very excited and happy about it. New Zealand and Shrey’s promotion was like a God-send opportunity to make so much more of ourselves and our life. Shrey had gone ahead in December end to sort out the immigration paper work and figure out our stay. I had to wait for my dependent visa and had to stay here for 2-3 months before joining him in early  2020. Oh how excited I was with the entire prospect. I kept looking at the beautiful pictures of New Zealand on internet and imagined living my dream life, even when I was atleast a thousand miles away from it. 

In preparation of the movement, I quit my job in January and was in my serving period. We’d sold our furniture and car and got a few tenants to rent out our house because we did need money for the start. In February the news of coronavirus had already gained ground. We were a bit nervous but then our immigration agent assured us that all will be okay. Never did we anticipate the huge-ness of this entire pandemic and that the countries will close their borders. I  was busy with all the packing and wrapping up all the things as on 15 th March, our new tenants were moving in. I’d booked myself a hotel room for a week as my flight was scheduled for 20th March. But never did I imagine that the 5 days in a hotel room would be unnecessary leisure that I’d opted for. 

On 19 March, the devastating NEWS broke about New Zealand sealing its borders. I could not believe it. I called up the embassy and the immigration agent but did not get clarity from anywhere. There was confusion all around me and in my mind. Will they allow me since all my bookings have been done and I have the visa ready? How was I to go about it? Whom should I call up?

On his end, my husband was frantic too. He was also trying to request his office and reach out to the India embassy in New Zealand but everyone was clear about it. There was no entering New Zealand now.

All the flights were cancelled, the lockdown was worldwide, people were stranded in different countries, I, was here stranded in a hotel room, without even a house, a car, or anything except for a few bags of clothes and other essentials. My visa was duly cancelled, tickets returned, money returned but that was nothing compared to the huge loss I was facing otherwise.  had no place to stay, no family, no job - I was stranded in my own country. 

Luckily I got a small room on rent in NOIDA but without much amenities. I have a mattress and electricity, running water in this room and a small kitchenette. I was still happy that I will again start things off--ask my broker to move our tenants to another house, buy myself a gas stove, apply again for a cylider, set-up the kitchen back and slowly build a small life for myself. 

But destiny wanted to test me further, it seems. I had arranged for a tiffin service for myself for the time I was in the rented room and was just about managing. I was constantly pushing my broker to get the tenants to move and doing other things when on 23rd March, night, even India went into a strict lockdown. What? This can’t happen? I can’t continue staying here. I do not even have a water filter, or a gas connection here. This was unbelievable.

I must have cried the entire night in frustration, anger and self-pity; I felt that God had forsaken me and I am doomed; I hated everything around me; I banged at the walls in frustration, and kept screaming Why, Why, Why?

But it was meant to be like this. The next morning, reality hit me even harder when my breakfast tiffin didn’t turn up because of the lockdown. I somehow managed to buy bread and some cheese--although that was a struggle too since because of the fear of lockdown people had started hoarding and the stores were out of everything--including instant noodles!!!

How I survived those 21 days only I know. I borrowed an induction plate from the landlord of the room and survived on eggs, toast, and milk. I did not have a TV; just my phone and laptop to keep me occupied. I had to buy everything slowly--a few pots and pans and plates, dishwashing liquid, detergents and so on. I missed my home and my life. Oh, why did I have to dream of moving abroad.

I was tired, exhausted, broken, and had mentally given up on my future.

My husband too was unable to come back to India because of the borders being sealed and his work. One month I stayed in that room, by myself, all alone--it was straight out of those Hollywood survivor shows, but real and much more painful that one can imagine. It was hell. I am just grateful to God that I did not fall sick that month else I would have possibly died alone and no one would have found out about it also. I used to actually have nightmares about it--and the thought used to wake me up in the night in cold sweat.

Finally in the beginning of May, my father managed to book himself on a flight and come to take me.

How I wept on seeing him...like a 3-year-old. The first familiar face I had seen in a month. 

We went back to my hometown since continuing in NOIDA without a job would be meaningless. I had tried to reach my old company but they had frozen all hirings and as is they had found a replacement for my role.

I have run out of my savings and am dependent on my father and my husband now--I feel ashamed that at this age when I should be independent, I am back like a parasite sucking their resources . I have exhausted my funds and now my future just seems a blur and it is worrying me the most. I left my job, I was going on a dependant visa, I have no means of earnings at the moment not to mention the uncertainty of when will I meet my husband again.

I just want to be with him right now. Everything is just painful, all my applications have been rejected without any reason. I have no clue where life is taking me and I have stopped asking also now. I have given up!”