“Where is the food? Don’t you know I need to eat at 9 p.m. Why is there a delay? You are worthless,” he yelled at me as he slapped me, not giving me a chance to answer. Ever since the lockdown due to coronavirus was put in place, my husband’s anger and aggressiveness has increased. Our fights have increased, and instances of him hitting me or forcing himself on me have also increased. My husband loves his drinks and because buying alcohol is not easy now, he gets frustrated easily and takes his anger out on me even for small things. I understand it might be difficult for him not to have his alcohol everyday but is it okay for me to bear the beating and be raped every alternate day to make him feel better?” questioned a 25-year-old woman when asked about how the she was managing during the lockdown and social distancing phase of COVID19.

For her, the pre-COVID days were better since she could atleast run out of the house to escape the occasional beating.

 2963 cases of domestic violence have been registered in the state of Tamil Nadu alone in a month’s time post the lockdown. As men have started to have withdrawal symptoms due to the absence of substances—alcohol, cigarette, drugs—in their life, their anger, irritability, frustration is being let out on their wives.

Whether it is getting verbally abused, hit or raped, for men the wives have become the punching bag in the absence of their favourite bottle of liquor or brand of cigarette.

 Withdrawal symptoms of any addiction include - anger, irritability, and stress. And when the men do not find an outlet to these emotions they are taking it out on their wives adding up to the number of cases every day. As the women are stuck at home during the lockdown, they cannot go out to ask for help from neighbours or parents or other people

Where addiction is  not the reason for women’s misery and pain, the economic recession is making them victims of domestic abuse. Rising anxiety in men about the economic struggles along with abstinence is also reflected in most of the cases of domestic violence. 

 “I was working from home and my husband was okay with it initially. He said, at least someone was earning because he was asked to stay home due to the recession. But from the past 2-3 weeks he has started becoming restless and every moment he is picking up fights with everyone at home for the smallest of reasons. 

A few days back I had taken a day off and wanted to spend some time with my family but the change in our routine spiked my husband’s anger. He pushed me aggressively in the living room, abused me and hit me. He said that since I was earning now, I was trying to put him down. It is his complex to live with but I have to bear the brunt of it.”

Whatever the reasons—withdrawal symptoms of an addiction or economic insecurity—nothing justify’s a person’s hitting or abusing another person. If you have been experiencing the same

Get help

• Even if you can’t travel to your parents house, move out of the scene of conflict. Secure yourself in another room, run out to the garden, balcony or the corridor of the building—anywhere where he might fear other’s observing his behaviour.
• The women’s helpline numbers and police control room numbers are still working even if you can’t go to the police station. Call them over for help.
• Keep everyone—friends whom you can trust and family—updated of any instances of domestic abuse so that you can call them during an emergency and they can respond urgently.
• Get help for yourself and your husband through online counselling.

Domestic violence has to stop; there is no other way for it.