I feel wasted

As the doctors saves the life of people coming to their doorstep, ASHA workers have taken up the responsibility of making door-to-door visits, especially in the rural parts of the country, in this time of pandemic and spread awareness about COVID and educate people on the safety guidelines.

ASHAs have been assigned the task of conducting surveys in different localities and communities and to collect data on the number and areas of people who have shown any symptoms of COVID such as coughing or a fever. Over the span of almost 3 months, they have visited thousands of houses each day irrespective of the fact that they are also prone to contracting the virus.

These frontline social workers are not provided with enough of the basic protective equipment like masks, gloves, etc. either sometimes and in such conditions, the fear of getting infected and concerns around the expense needed to recover is natural. 

One of the ASHA’s said, “My husband, who is very supportive of my work otherwise, with the current scary situation keeps asking me - what is the need to work so hard. What if you fall sick?  What if I fall sick? This is a question I ask myself every single day. But my family needs the money and so I continue with the job inspite of knowing all the risk factors. 

There are so many houses we go to every day, some people literally shut their doors on our faces even. Many of them warn us to keep away from their children, whereas we are just doing our job of informing them what is necessary. Forget about treating us properly, they don’t let us enter their houses, inspite of knowing that we are healthcare workers and we have to stand in the heat, on their doorway, and talk from there itself--telling them all the do’s and don’ts of COVID. I think if COVID doesn’t kill me, my job will--just going from house to house in this heat, and standing and talking to people for hours in the sun. 

I agree that people are fearful that they might contract the virus which might even lead to their death. But even if I tell them to look at me, how I have covered my face with a dupatta and how I wash my hands every half an hour, so many of them don’t even want to listen to what I am saying. They literally shoo us away saying that we know everything. Don’t waste our time and don’t bring the infection inside our houses.  

We’ve been on the field for 2+ months now, risking our lives and our family’s well being, but sometimes I feel as if I have been a failure in communicating to people. One house where I spent atleast one hour yesterday, telling them about social distancing, hosted a mundan (head shaving ceremony) party for their grandson and invited around 50 people. What if they fall sick? My job will be at stake as well. Why don’t people understand? It is so frustrating.

Sometimes the problem is with the system too...we are given pamphlets to distribute but half the people in my territory are illiterate and I see children tearing up the pamphlets to pieces. The english pamphlets, even I am not able to read, leave aside the villagers. It feels all so wasted an effort.

Sometimes there is language barrier. With each village there is a change in dialect and it takes me a lot of time to communicate. People give me blank looks if they are not able to understand me, and rightly so. It leaves me feeling angry and frustrated. I am constantly talking through actions wondering if they are able to understand anything. Such a waste of time and effort.

Now I am not even sure if I was even able to make an impact on the lives I thought I had taken the responsibility of saving, in spite of exposing myself to the highest risks without the proper PPE. I feel I am fighting a losing battle--not able to do my job fully yet also putting myself into danger.”