“When I announced that I have volunteered to work with the COVID teams, there was an eerie silence in the house. I thought I was doing it for a good cause but my family’s silence has made me doubt my own decision.

I am a doctor based in Surat and when we got to know about the onset of COVID pandemic I had decided to volunteer for the cause without giving it a single thought. It was a moment when my passion as a doctor had taken over me. I didn’t think about the high-risk factors and the consequences my family would have to go through because of my one single decision. 

As the number of patients started pouring in and the death rate took us on a whirlwind trip, it was very difficult for me to answer the frightening questions in my patient’s and team’s eyes. Within no time the enormity of my decision started becoming clear to me. 

What if I get infected while treating a patient? If I get infected and die, who will look after my family? What if I go home as a carrier of this virus? I couldn’t bear the thought of infecting my mother, my wife and my daughter.

I am the reason for their incessant worrying. I am the reason for so many deaths as I have been incompetent in saving the lives of my patients. I am the reason for putting mine as well as my family’s life in danger. 

It is hard to look at families crying over the death of their loved ones. I have started experiencing compassion fatigue and anxiety issues due to the overwhelming emotions. I can’t sleep, eat or stop thinking about how I have to live with the consequences of this decision of mine. HOW can I stop feeling these negative emotions overpowering me?”

Doctors and nurses are dealing with the fear of taking up the ‘high-risk’ responsibility for COVID cases. They are struggling with mental health issues entrenched so deep in their psyche that it is giving physical manifestations of the same. We have a list of few suggestions that might help these healthcare professionals to deal with their fears.

Have faith in yourself and your work: You need to remind yourself why you opted to take up the responsibility in the first place. Revisit the passion when you took this high-risk decision. Have faith in your decision and job as a saviour for so many patients.

Identify your trigger points: Try to gauge when you feel stressed and anxious. Once you know your trigger points it gets easier to manage negative emotions. 

Practice mindfulness: With so much stress and anxiety, this is simpler said than done. But practicing mindfulness is the key to reducing the negative emotions and boosting your self-worth and confidence.

Stay connected: Even though you are following strict rules of social distancing make sure you give your family a call whenever you manage to get some time off. Stay connected as this will lower the intensity of guilt and fear.