Struggling as a professional woman with sudden home duties.
“Wake up early – make breakfast – check emails – make lunch – clean the house – complete assignments – make snacks – do the dishes – submit the work and follow up – make dinner – clean up after - AND REPEAT! When I asked my husband to lend a helping hand he said, ‘Anangha, you are a freelancer without timelines. You shouldn’t need a helping hand’ It left me wondering: why my work is always held of less value? Don’t I earn the bread for our house too?”
Even after people have accepted the term ‘working woman’, a woman is always expected to all the traditional tasks she has been doing for ages together, and only then can she commit to her professional life. Women have still been doing everything—managing home, jobs, kids--but the COVID crisis has exacerbated the situation for them.
Studies show that most women around the world work as freelancers, teachers, consultants, in the IT sector or the service industry, and keeping their jobs has become difficult during the pandemic situation. In the current situations, working or non-working, women have to look after the household with no domestic help; they are always expected to do everything and keep things rolling just like a normal day. Women’s unpaid care-work has increased exponentially because of school closures and the increased needs of older people.
Before the pandemic, even though women had house helps at their rescue so that they could take time out for professional work, they still shouldered most household decisions and kept things running; right from the way the house looked, what to eat, child’s homework to looking after the medical or other needs of the elders in the house.
But just like Anagha in the above example, many women are now expected to prioritize household chores over their jobs. Their struggles while managing the household, homeschooling the kids–which has now become an essential service, as well as managing their professional work life—is driving them to the edge of exasperation, frustration, feeling overwhelmed and under-appreciated—all in all, setting them up for the onset of an uncontrolled mental crisis. They are being suppressed with ever-increasing expectations. As if slaving under these negative emotions was not enough, many women have been working for no extra net income due to the job constraints while many others have had to choose between earning and caring for their children. Apart from the ever-growing work, there are reports of women experiencing domestic violence due to their incapacity to fulfilling familial demands while working from home.
It is important for everyone to understand that the pandemic situation has affected humans equally irrespective of gender. They need to get together and face the crisis in order to avoid mental health issues amongst women during as well as post the pandemic phase. Here are some suggestions on how these women can establish their place of work for themselves
- Do not undervalue your own contribution be it monetary or in household chores in your own mind. Realize the fact that you are the fuel to your family.
- Demand that household chores be shared.
- Divide childcare responsibilities and follow a schedule
- Set your limits. Define your physical workspace and your time to sit and do your office work. Take it sincerely and if you do so, others too will respect you.
- Learn to say ‘no’. If you can’t do it, it’s ok. Also, it is okay to feed kids simple bread butter breakfast as it is okay to tell your husband if he can manage the dishes tonight.
- Stand up for yourself and your work.
- Speak positively about your work to your spouse, family members: if you will crib about it, it is natural for them to ask you to quit.
- Stop being a perfectionist and a superwoman.