“Work from office, again, now, after two months of work from home? Am I even ready for it?”
Today, all employees in my company received an email saying, we shall go back to working from office starting this Monday. HR further wrote, hope you all are ready to take up the load and pressure after the lockdown period - guess what, I am absolutely not ready, but who will understand this simple concern of a mother?”
My name is Priyanka and I work as an HR executive in a multinational company. For the past two months I have been working from home and now I realise the difference in work from home vs. work from office. For the first time, in many years of my working life, I feel so much more in control of everything my family does. I complete office work and yet I have an absolute hold on my house and my 10-year-old Pranjal too. He has been home because of the school shutdown, and I am blessed to be able to spend so much time with him. As schools are not yet resuming, I don’t want to go back to work from office because that will keep me away from my baby.
I am happy to work remotely because this way I can keep a check on Pranjal’s studies, health, food, games and spend actual quality time with him. I am cooking for the past two months and I can look after the health of my family. I serve balanced meals, home made desserts, ensure there is enough fruit and vegetable in their diet. If office starts again, I will have to hire the cook back. What if Pranjal fusses about eating ghiya, tori, or tinda? These days, I feed him all these healthy vegetables. A cook or a nanny won’t pay as much attention to him.
I am able to sit with Pranjal and get him to study, explain concepts, know his weakness and strength. If office starts, then again I will have to depend on his tuition teacher’s online classes. I feel as if I will be doing him a disservice.
Going back is making me not only stressed about the hectic routine, the long drive, traffic jams, packed lunches, but also guilty about taking something away from my child—leaving him once again in the care of others.
What if during my travel or in office I get infected and spread the infection to my family? I cannot risk the life of my son. But my earnings are important too for his future. I am not able to decide whether to go back or not. If I put this out to my boss, he will be very displeased and there maybe consequences for me. But will anyone just try and understand my dilemma? A mother’s cry for help?”
Many men and women are facing this conflict of choosing between working from home and going back to the office for work. Most mothers are living on the edge trying to choose what is right. On one hand is the commitment to office work, the salary, the independence and on the other the personal care and attention that you know only a mom can provide.
The feelings of helplessness might creep in making you feel vulnerable, anxious and totally confused. But rather than bottling feelings inside, it is better to talk it out with friends and family who will not judge you or seek help from a counsellor.