The problem of women dealing with low self-esteem and even lower self-worth issues is not something new. But, with the pandemic, there has been a considerable rise in the instances of women feeling under-appreciated for everything that they have been doing in order to keep the family safe and moving through tough times.
Why is it that the feeling of being underappreciated is so common in women and what are the triggers for such a feeling?
- Women take up the responsibility of running their households smoothly--This includes being economical about buying stuff, minimizing wastage, and doing the best in what they have.
- They look after others needs before themselves--When it comes to health, they will sacrifice their own health, well-being, food to ensure that everyone else in the family has enough. They also accept doing extra tasks just because they do not want to say ‘no’ even if they are buried in work themselves.
- They think they can manage everything themselves and rarely ask for help--They will not want to disturb the man’s office work, the child’s studies or play and take it on themselves to do everything.
While the intentions behind these tasks of women are honest, the attitude of putting others before themselves makes them susceptible to be taken for granted, their wishes being overlooked, and them being ignored or neglected.
And with the pandemic that has turned things upside down women’s issues have magnified. With no help from a domestic staff, no free time since kids and husbands are also home, and no scope of stepping out for a breather, women are overburdened with work and more underappreciated than ever. While doing things like taking care of the whole family, their needs, their expectations, their wants-a woman doesn’t get enough time for herself.
It is high time that a woman stops saying and doing things as per other’s expectations in order to get validation for themselves. It is important for you as a woman to appreciate your own worth and not wait for others’ validations.
But HOW?
- Don’t be hard on yourself: Take up responsibilities that you think best interests you. It is alright to not be perfect in everything that you do but blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong is the first thing that you need to let go off.
2. Share workload: Delegate tasks while working from home or otherwise too. Sharing your workload will make things clear to everyone that you have your boundaries and do not appreciate them being crossed over.
3. Boost self-acceptance: It is important for you to know all your strengths and weaknesses. Once you know what works in your favour and what doesn’t it will make things easier for you. Once you accept yourself no one can use your weaknesses against you. Rather it will leave them awestruck to see how confident you are in your own skin.
4. Take responsibility for yourself for no one else will: You are responsible for the way you feel. You feel underappreciated - it is you who seek validation from others. Instead, appreciate and compliment yourself whenever you do a commendable job.
5. Learn to say no: You can’t fufill everyone’s expectations. You are not bound to do that. Understand that where you can take care of your family members, their whims and fancies are not for you to fulfill if you don’t have the time or stamina to do so.
Though there are a number of people talking about self-esteem, self-acceptance, self-respect, self-confidence, self-love, self-care, the fact that a woman is always expected to lower her expectations and needs in order to keep the others happy, negates the entire point of loving yourself. In order to break this thread, it is time for women to stand up for themselves