COVID is not something my child chose, but she still has to bear the burden of it!

"It's okay Preeti. COVID, exams getting cancelled and all this is not your fault. It's just tenth; you don't need to stress so much about it." 

“But if I had been given a chance to give my Geography paper or even my computer application paper, I would have pulled up my percentage by atleast 5%. They were my strong points. This average of best three etc. has killed my future.”

This is the conversation that Arpita had with her daughter Preeti whose class 10 results were just announced. Preeti was so disappointed that she blames himself, the environment, the government, the family...just about anyone for it. She is seething with an anger that she cannot express and this concerns Arpita.

For Arpita the fact that Preeti does not talk to anyone, refuses to answer relatives queries and has locked himself in her room is worrying.

“I don't understand what should I do to calm her down. I understand that the lockdown, not being able to give her favourite geography exam, having to see her other friends relish in their good percentages is forcing Preeti to feel restless. 

But she looks more than just unhappy. How should I get her to talk to me properly?

Yesterday Preeti said, "It is my fault this is happening to me. I shouldn't have studied only. I would've failed but at least this uncertainty wouldn't have bothered me." It was an extreme thing for her to say. She is someone who wouldn't get upset easily and always wanted to do well in her life, and here she is wanting to quit the battle altogether?

My daughter has always worked hard and this uncertainty was something she never chose but has to shoulder the burden of it anyway. I think we have made the boards exams a bigger deal than necessary for our kids. And I know it is my fault somehow that my child is going through such negative emotions of hopelessness and competitive failure. I just don't understand how to make her realise that it's OKAY! What can I do??


- Arpita Sahdev

Housewife, Pune