“I always wanted to have a very good career but it never happened really. After my marriage and then the birth of my two daughters, within a span of six years, my career took a backseat and I became a home maker.
But since I know the pain of giving up my career and being looked upon only as a ‘housewife’ I want to support my daughters into doing well for themselves.
Both my daughters are intelligent girls and show signs of being able to crack an entrance exam. I want the older one, who is already 16 years old, to sit for MBBS exam.
And for that I make her slog and study very hard.
I do everything possible to not let her lose focus from her studies--her timetable is scheduled and managed strictly by me. Even before COVID set in, I let her go for socialising with friends and family on only very select and important events.
I am trying to inculcate in her a sincerity towards studies and hard work.
But this is not appreciated at all in my in-laws house.
They believe I am being overly ambitious for my kids;
As per them
GIRLS SHOULD BE MARRIED OFF EARLY, NOT GIVEN TOO MUCH OF INDEPENDENCE OR STUDY TOO MUCH.
I could have lived with their ideology if they didn’t interfere as much in my life or kept telling my girls that “Why do you have to study all the time? It is not required? Your mother is mad to push you so much.”
I just want to ask them
AM I NOT ALLOWED TO BRING UP MY CHILDREN MY WAY?
They are my children and I can decide for them.
Why are they hell bent on making my life so difficult and my daughters’ life as per their whims.
When I can respect their thoughts and let them live the way they want to, why can’t they respect mine?
Do they not realise that as is I am so stressed with my daughter’s studies and that their interference is just making it tougher for me.
There are days when I feel like blasting them, venting all my life’s angst on them, telling them to let my girls blossom without the weight of patriarchy on their shoulders, but I know I won’t do it.
Do they mistake my silence for my weakness?