“When I knew I was getting a younger sister-in-law in my family, I was happy. I thought I will have someone younger, brighter, and more in sync with a today’s woman’s desires and it will be fun for me. But how wrong was I?
My sister-in-law who is younger to me both in age and in relationship (being my husband’s younger sister) is worst at accepting me as a family member.
For her, I am like an unwanted piece of furniture offloaded in the house and she would rather not have it.
She is always pointing out my faults and flaws to my in-laws for which I get reprimanded then. For her, I should be the ideal bhabhi from the TV serials, who stands with her head bowed down in front of her parents and is always available to fulfill their wishes.
I understand her concern, love, and respect for her parents but what I don’t understand is the sadistic pleasures she gets out of ruining my image with my in-laws.
“Bhabhi should not wear jeans and tops when stepping out of the house; Mom you need to tell her this.”
“Why does Bhabhi want to work or even take up freelance assignments? She will not focus on the house. Papa you need to step in here.”
“Whenever someone comes visiting, Bhabhi should make atleast 3 vegetarian dishes, 2 non-vegetarian dishes, dessert and snacks. That is the least that she can do.”
“I don’t like the way she dresses, carries her hair, wears her makeup….”
Whereas I can somewhere understand her insecurities about losing the love and attention of her brother, the worry that her parents will be mis-treated, I wish she would have given me some time and tried to understand me before stereotyping me as wicked villain.
I wish she would understand me that I as a person have both good and not-so-good traits in me and that where she can accept the good, she can gently and in a friendly way point out the negatives which I may work upon.
WHY IS EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY ALLOWED TO HAVE FAULTS IN THEIR NATURE BUT NOT ME? WHY IS PERFECTION EXPECTED OF ME?
Am I not a person too? Or am I a software in which data can be loaded as per someone’s whims and fancies.
I sometimes wonder, when I observe my sister-in-law’s decided attempts to discredit me--why can’t women be each other’s support...why do women have to be each other’s worst enemies?," wonder Esha Goyal, a resident of Jalandhar, Punjab.