“Our neighbour shared a picture of me and my teenage daughter when we’d gone for a walk in the morning on the society’s WhatsApp group saying, ‘This is not the time to maintain your health. You should be staying at home’. What followed was an avalanche of derogatory remarks, ridicules, memes, name calling, and abuses of all sorts. People called us educated idiots. I was humiliated, embarrassed and angry. Kind friends called me to assure me not to get bothered. Our RWA has allowed walks with protocols in place which both of us were following..we weren’t stopping to talk to anyone else, just waving if we saw a familiar face, wearing masks etc...My daughter saw the comments accidentally on my phone and she was so traumatized at this shaming, that she now refuses to step out of the house. She has PCOS and therefore some activity is advisable for her. But she says that she will not go. I think the virus has affected people’s mentality as well,” shares Mrs Janhvi Mehta, a resident of NOIDA. 

 COVID is tough on each one  of us, but some people are gradually starting to accept is as a part of their life and taking steps to move ahead with it, while some still prefer  to follow stricter rules of isolation. The problem arises when either of the one starts to behave or think of himself as a more conscientious and righteous person, takes the high stand on it and becomes a self-decided vigilante like the Mehta’s neighbour.

The fear of getting infected or spreading the infection has increased among all but reacting to it in a moral policing manner is creating  mental harassment, humiliation, stress and disharmony for many others.

 There was an incident in Pune where a woman created a huge furore when her neighbour’s children were sent out to get groceries. The victimized neighbour Shrimat Joshi said, “No one wants their child to be infected and we are taking precautions too. But if still she thinks her kids are not safe we can’t help her. We can’t be listening to her talking random things about me and my kids on the federation group. Why can’t she just come up to me and discuss her issues? Is this ‘show off’ policing going to help her lower her anxiety?”

The situation spiralled out of hands and the federation elders had to be called for intervention. It has been almost a month, but the incident has left such a bad taste for both the parties that they refuse to acknowledge each other anymore. Moreover both have come in public limelight unwittingly and are being called ‘ridiculous’ for their behaviour, though Joshi’s neighbour is the one who it seems will be living with the tag for many more days to come.

A new mean side of our neighbours, friends and acquaintances is showing up during the pandemic. While some feel victimized, the others are getting some un-moralistic pleasures from stigmatization, or victimization of others. The long unending debates on what is right and what is not, how and when will COVID end, is it time to start living normal lives or not, what is the new normal, is there on every whatsapp group, facebook group and phone call. What is not welcome is intolerance of other’s point of view, and a disdain for others intellect. Some attribute this behaviour of calling others out public platforms as an outcome of petty jealousies.

 This kind of harassment can have  long standing repercussions for anyone—like Mehta’s daughter who refuses to step out for a walk now fearing stigmatization again. It can cause mental distress, feelings of shame, embarrassment, and affect an individual’s mental peace.

It is important for us to

Be tolerant of other’s point of view: It is upto us how we understand the COVID situation and interpret it as  per our situation. For older people, a daily walk might be essential while the younger generation can do with aerobics at home. It is important not  to judge others on parameters we have decided for our families.

 Respect other’s privacy and use healthy means of communication: Putting up photographs of people on groups and shaming them publically without knowing their side is not  only mean, and reflects badly on you, but also exposes you to the risk of defamation case. If you think something is amiss, discuss things in a healthy manner. Talk to the concerned person rather than going in for public shaming.

 Times are tough for everyone but let’s not make them tougher through moral policing, vindictiveness, or meanness.