Most households have turned into work zones, courtesy the current crisis. The pandemic has sealed geographical boundaries but merged the boundaries between work and home. This has created emotional and mental havoc for families who are working from home because staying together 24*7, along with doing household chores, office work, supervising children, old parents or grandparents is aggravating stress in people resulting in considerable rise in family conflict.

What are the possible conflict zones during this Work-From-Home aspect of the hour?

1. Gender-based conflicts:

“My mother-in-law is trying to help me more than ever. But I wish my husband understands that taking care of the daily chores and managing work is supposed to be a shared task and not just my or his mother’s responsibility,” is turning out to be a common complaint.

As per the statistics, even though 79% of men feel that both genders should have equal rights, only 1.5% men said that basic cooking, cleaning and washing was their responsibility too, while a large percentage of men are still of the opinion that women shouldn't do paid work if it restricts their ability to manage household chores.

With this mindset, during the lockdown women have to process the new reality of doing office work at home while being a cook, housekeeper, tuition teacher for the kids, caregiver for the elders etc. for their family.

Managing office work along with household chores gets to the woman and when the husband doesn't support her with routine tasks at home she is prone to experience physical and mental fatigue, leading to bad temper and unsatisfactory events at home.

2. Parental expectations and disappointments:

“My parents don’t get the term Work from Home right. They keep on interrupting me with the smallest of things and it leads to disturbance and agitates me. Even though I am at home, I don’t get enough time to spend with them and this in turn disturbs them,” is the new distressing angle that WFH scenario is creating in families.

Parents aren’t used to having their working offspring at home and working the whole day. Considering the fact that now their son/daughter is at home, they expect them to spend quality time with the folks. But with the never-ending responsibilities, it gets difficult for the son/daughter to do so; instead, there are times when they burst out of frustration, arguing and getting into fights with the parents, hurting them emotionally, leading to feelings of guilt and helplessness.

3. Couple-Child conflicts:

“I and my wife are juggling work and managing our twins at the same time. It is getting really frustrating and now even the smallest of things are making us angry at each other. I don’ know how we will get through this phase because even though we love each other, right now looking at each other is getting more than difficult and stressful,” is something working couples have started to feel.

When both partners have to WFH, managing household chores without the aid of house help as well as fulfilling the professional responsibilities might heighten instances of bitter encounters if either of them is not patient or thinks of their work as more important than the other’s.

4. Unending work as well as social isolation for couples living in long-distance relationships:

“My working hours are erratic.  I have no means to reject any task assigned to me as I have nowhere else to go- this being the highlight of my work life, I just wish my wife understands this,” is a feeling most couples are harbouring for each other these days  if in a hectic job schedule.

When you go out to work, your work life is bound and has limitations of time. But with personal and professional boundaries merging, unending work hours or erratic calls and meetings agitate family members. They don’t get as much time with each other as they would want to. This is making the whole situation very stressful.

Another section of people hit by the lockdown and WFH, are those living alone, away from their partners or family members. This kind of social isolation is becoming increasingly distressing, breeding insecurities and is putting strain on the relationship. As per a study, 87% of those living alone are now struggling with feelings of loneliness and growing anxiety.

With so many kinds of conflicts, as overwhelming as it can feel to be at odds with those we love, it is essential to understand that such conflicts are not a normal part of life and can be resolved. One does not have to feel the strain of having to live with them. Accepting that there’s no shame in the occasional irritation or hypersensitivity, it is important for you to take simple steps in order to build a stronger bond and set a few rules to make the conflicts less mentally exhaustive.

Here are a few suggestions that might help you in managing the diminishing home and work boundaries better to maintain familial cord;

1.Accept the situation:It is the first step towards making any situation better or solving any kind of conflict. Accept the situation that you are in. Try and empathize with your partner as well as the family members. Compassion and understanding are like the pillars to maintain a cordial bond in any relationship.

2.Set a proper schedule and task list:Studies prove that over 75% people are living with a negative impact of the COVID19 outbreak on their habits, routines, and structures. This negative impact further leads to stressful encounters between family members. In order to avoid this, prepare a proper schedule taking every family member into consideration. Divide the housework and take up responsibilities in a way that everyone gets their required time to work (in breaks or at a stretch) as well as help in the household tasks.

3.Think about the positives: Due to the economic downfall, there are thousands of people who are jobless during the pandemic. It is time to acknowledge the fact that you are lucky to have a job and be financially secure in such tough times. Another point is that you get to be with your family for longer intervals, a rare circumstance and hence, cherishing it is of utmost importance.

4.Keep contact with your loved ones even if things get hard: Acknowledge the fact that these times are tough for all. Right from the parents to the partners and kids even. If anyone from the family is stuck due to the lockdown make sure you keep a contact with them. That is the only way to make them feel at home and comparatively better in a depressing situation.

5.Make time and plan stress-relieving activities: Even if the work seems never-ending, make time for your family members (even small intervals would work). Plan stress-relieving activities such as cooking together, watching a movie together or playing a non-competitive game together to keep the liveliness alive. Even the smallest actions like having a cup of tea together or pitching in with quick clean-ups post meals also count and spread positivity.

6. Keep the conversations about issues and triggers fluid: If there are any actions or specific situations that bother you, make sure you have a brief conversation about it with your spouse/partner/family member and work on the solutions for the same. By being clear about your triggers or issues that are bothersome, tricky situations can be managed easily. Seek a counsellor’s intervention if you think that will ease up the pressure from the situation.