Senior citizens are aware of their vulnerability to COVID19 and it is time we pay attention to their mental health as it is equally susceptible to degeneration given the ongoing infection. The ambiguity of the situation and fear of death have an increased negative effect on the minds of the aged making them lose their peace of mind. As Dharmadhikari Bhai, a 72-year-old man rightly put it, “What will happen to my family after me?”

Suresh Dharmadhikari has a 40-year-old divorced daughter, her 6-year-old son, and a 64-year-old healthy wife who occasionally suffers from high BP. When he got to know about his friend’s death because of COVID, he called his family to express his grief. They were all worried about the future of the family now that the senior most member had passed away. Suresh immediately connected with the concern and expressed his own worries, “Chintan was well to do and his son is also financially secure with his own house and a decent bank balance. His death is sad news of course, but his family won’t have to suffer a lot apart from the emotional turmoil. But what if something was to happen to me? My daughter is in a very simple job and barely manages for herself and Paritosh, my grandson, and without me my wife would be left all alone too. 

We are not that well to do either, I have my savings and my daughter's salary, but if I die one day, they will have to face lots of hardship what with us still paying the EMIs of the house and Paritosh's expenses too. I also wish that my daughter settles again in life with a loving man who accepts Paritosh too.  So, I still have that responsibility to fulfill and plan to save something for that too.

Where will they go if I die? The world is a cruel place and they will make my daughter’s and wife’s life a living hell...relatives will fly down like vultures on them and try and cheat them out of everything making false claims. And emotionally, I am the strongest person around. My wife is still not over my daughter’s divorce trauma and ends up crying for her and over the episode. If I die, she will be totally broken and not able to live. She is a simple person and not worldy wise enough to look after my investments and deal with banks etc. I don’t know what I can do to save myself and my family right now. I already have a heart condition and most of my savings have been exhausted in my medication. I will be that useless father and a husband who left nothing but misery for the family after my death.

These thoughts scare me so much that I have not been able to sleep for days...I have lost my appetite because of the worries. Though we take all the precautions but given how virulent the virus is, we are just not sure when it will strike me.

I want to live more for my family’s sake--I want to see my daughter happily settled again with a nice person. I wish to see Paritosh well secure.  I want my simple, loving housewife to go before me so that she needn’t face the harsh realities of life without me as a buffer...but what’s the point of this wanting. If the virus gets me, my family will be doomed without me.

I am angry at the world for not taking care and spreading the virus, I am helpless at my age and susceptibility to the virus, I am worried for my family’s welfare after me...I feel hopeless and worried and sad and anxious about it all.”

(Pic credit: studiogstock/freepik)