“I belong to Amritsar the city of Golden Temple and good food and always felt that Delhi lacked authentic amritsari kulchas, fish tikkas, and the lassi. And so, with my friend, I invested and opened this eatery in high-end Khan Market catering to only authentic amritsari cuisine patrons. We opened a small, chic restaurant with only about 15 seats and the rest we depended on deliveries for success.

We launched last year in July, with much fanfare, and a Bollywood celebrity for the opening. Like any business we had given ourselves a few years before we reach break even and then profit. We had invested a lot of money--all my savings--into the venture right from market research, hiring consultants, interior designers etc. My wife is in full time role and so I thought I could take the risk. But I could not have been more wrong. The pandemic shattered everything.

We had just been open for 6 months with moderate success and were planning on targeting the wedding season for catering parties, when the news of the pandemic started to trickle in. It was bothering me, no doubt, but I didn’t expect what happened next.

Our customer turnover dropped immediately….from catering to about 30 customers each day, we had come down to barely 7-8. No amount of schemes or packages seemed to work. Our catering plans were smashed. We were struggling with paying rent even.

But then the lockdown happened--overnight, my eatery closed. I did not even get time to organize the kitchen well before the shutdown. No movement was allowed. With great difficulty my partner managed to arrange a pass for himself to visit the restaurant and was horrified with what he saw. The place had been invaded by rats, inspite of us having taken as much precaution before the lockdown. Rats had not only destroyed all the stored ration and food and grains, but also the upholstery, fabric and chewed on the furniture too.

It was horrible. My dream reduced to a pile of rubbish. Till today I get nightmares of the video of rats gnawing at things at the eatery that my partner shared. I feel as if rats are climbing all over me and hurting me, it has been so traumatic. 

Also, given that we still had to pay rent, me and my partner discussed it over the phone and decided to close the eatery for good. The decision broke me into pieces. I cried as if I had lost a child. 

And on top of that to face the accusatory glances and questions of my family and friends! People think I have been reckless and selfish to have not thought of my two kids but only of my dream. How am I to survive the guilt. Whatever FD’s I had made for my children’s education abroad, I had used them pre-maturely believing in my dream and my hard work...it seems I am a loser. I have stolen what was due to my children and there is nothing to show for it now.

I have stopped answering calls of friends and family ever since they got to know this..they have been trying to offer kind words but I feel as if they are shaming me for it.

I have nothing to look forward to now...no dreams, no hopes, no life...i have hurt and cheated my family...how much worse can it get. Or how worse could I become. 

There is no going back for me but a life of silence and remorse.

(Pic credit: stories/freepik)